Listening Support

We support people affected by self-harm, whether it's something they're experiencing personally or they're concerned about someone else. We hear from people of all ages and genders across our services.

When you reach out, you'll be in touch with one of our volunteers who has received specialist training. They can help you explore your feelings and experiences around self-harm, and share tools and advice if that feels right for you.

We know some people feel more comfortable speaking with a woman, so every Thursday between 6 - 9 pm, our service is staffed by self-identifying women. Our support is available to people of all genders.

You can expect a non-judgemental space where you won't be told what to do. It's your space to use in whatever way feels right for you.

You can talk about anything you want to and we won't tell anyone you contacted us unless you or someone else is at risk of immediate harm and you give us information that could be used to identify you or them. We will never ask for this information.

We're here to offer emotional support around self-harm and anything else you might be going through, and you can talk about whatever is on your mind. Some things people like to discuss with us include their day, health, pets, and many other topics.

We aren't an advice or information service, but we can support you to make decisions that feel right for you. If you want, we can also share tools and information with you. Our aim is to offer a safe and supportive environment where you can share your experiences, find comfort, and access tools to help you.

If you don't know how to start, just say hello.

You can talk about anything you're going through. Whether it feels big or small, clear or confusing, you're welcome to share it.

People contact us about things like:

• Feeling low, anxious, overwhelmed, or alone
• Self-harm or thoughts of self-harm
• Relationship or family issues
• Stress at work, school, or in daily life
• Identity, self-worth, or body image struggles
• Past experiences or trauma
• Or simply not knowing what's wrong and needing someone to talk to.

You don't need to have the right words or a clear reason. You'll be met with compassion, not judgment. We're here to listen.

We offer emotional support to anyone affected by self-harm, whether it’s your own experience or you’re worried about someone else.

We use a technique called reflective listening, which means we pay close attention to what you share, reflect it to you, and gently invite you to explore it further if you’d like. We don’t tend to ask many questions. We’re here to listen, not to lead the conversation.

Not at all. You're welcome to talk about anything that's on your mind.

We know self-harm is often connected to other thoughts and experiences, so if you'd rather talk about those, that's absolutely fine. Some people come to us just for a distraction or a general chat, and that's okay too.

Self-harm means different things to different people and doesn't have to look a certain way to matter. We're here for anyone who identifies with the experience of harming, and we'll never tell you what does or doesn't ‘qualify’ as self-harm.

We can support you with this. We won’t tell you what to do, but we can discuss your thoughts about what you might want to do next, and support you better to understand the emotions and experiences that underly your self-harm.

For more help, you could also try looking at our ‘How do I stop?’ advice and information page.

We can share basic First Aid resources, but we can't provide medical help or referrals. We're also here to talk about how you feel about seeking medical assistance, and support you through that if it's something you're thinking about.

We don't tend to give advice, as everyone's different, but we can discuss self-help tools like our Resources and The Rainbow Journal on our website if that's helpful.

TESS stands for Text and Email Support Service. It's the collective name we use on our text and email services.

Our services are delivered by a small team of trained volunteers. When you contact TESS, you'll always be speaking with a real person, not a chatbot or automated system. One volunteer will manage your conversation at a time, ensuring you receive personalised support.

To help keep the service simple and consistent, all volunteers respond using the name "TESS" or "T." You will likely speak to different volunteers at different times, but each member of the team is trained and supported to provide the same caring, compassionate service.

We understand that you've chosen to speak with us, and we appreciate the trust you have placed in us. Very occasionally, we may need to contact another service if we believe it's necessary for your safety or someone else's, but this is only if you've given us identifiable information for you or them - otherwise, our services are completely anonymous.

If you feel you're at immediate risk, we encourage you to contact emergency services yourself rather than asking us to do so. The safeguarding support emergency services provide will be the same, whether we call or you call, but contacting them yourself will make this process quicker and more straightforward.

Yes, your support is anonymous and confidential. We don't see your phone number, IP address, or any personal information unless you choose to share it with us.

We would only ever break confidentiality if we have identifying details and believe there is an immediate risk of serious harm; in such cases, we would always expect to discuss this with you first.

We want to ensure that everyone receives the support they need while maintaining an open and accessible service.

Phone: You can talk to us for up to 30 minutes per evening.

Text: You can chat for as long as the session lasts, if you’d like to.

Email: We reply within a week (usually sooner). If you send more than one email, we'll respond with one message that brings everything together.

That's completely okay.
We understand this might feel daunting, and there's no pressure to say anything specific or to share anything before you're ready.
If you're stuck, simply saying hello is enough to get started.

Our support is available to people of all genders whenever we’re open.

We understand that some people feel more comfortable speaking with a woman, so every Thursday all our services are staffed by self-identifying women. 

We support people of all genders, even on a Thursday.

Absolutely. Supporting someone who self-harms can be emotionally challenging for everyone involved, and you need support too. We understand the importance of having someone to talk to about it.