I want to stop hurting myself
A helpful guide to reducing and stopping self-harm.
This resource can help you if you’re trying to stop self-harming. If you want to reduce your self-harm, you can also have a look at our Distractions and Alternatives resource.
This is a brave step to consider taking.
Many people have found ways of reducing or stopping their self-harm. With time and support, you can make those changes, too.
This process of moving away from self-harm can bring up strong feelings. As you make this journey, we encourage you to practice self-care; celebrate the small steps; and treat yourself with compassion.
Understanding why you self-harm
Some people have a clear sense of why they self-harm. Others may feel more unsure about what harming does for them.
It’s okay if you can’t name your reasons for harming right now – it doesn’t make your self-harm, your emotions, or your experiences any less valid.
We’ve designed some activities below to help you get to grips with your self-harm, at your own pace.
These activities can help you unpack:
- The reasons behind your harming;
- The feelings you might experience as you work to stop hurting yourself;
- Alternatives that you can try that could meet the same needs
Activity 1: Identifying reasons and meanings
Using a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil, complete the sentences below:
- The reason I hurt myself for the first time was…
- Before I hurt myself, I feel…
- After I hurt myself, I feel…
- The situations that I’m most likely to hurt myself in are…
- Self-harm helps me cope by…
- What I like about my self-harm is…
- Reasons I hurt myself include…
Activity 2: Preparing for any emotional challenges you might face
Using a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil, complete the sentences below:
- When I think about giving up self-harm, I feel…
- Things that I might find hard without self-harm are…
- Things I would miss about self-harm include…
Activity 3: Exploring alternatives
Using a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil, use the space to explore five strategies you could use to replace self-harm. If you’re not sure where to start, have a look at our Distractions & Alternatives resource for ideas.
It can be useful to link the feelings connected with your self-harming with strategies. For example, if you feel sad, listening to upbeat music could be one distraction, and writing down your feelings might be another.
For example: When I feel angry and usually self-harm, I am going to try punching a pillow instead.
Effective strategies are unique to each person and you may not find the right method straight away – that’s okay.
Download the PDF version of this article using the button below or print it to use as a worksheet.
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