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Distractions and Alternatives to Self-Harm

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A Starting Point: Understanding Your Self-Harm

For many people, better understanding the role self-harm plays in their lives can be a good starting point for exploring alternatives to self-harm or finding distractions from it. 

It may be difficult to figure out the function self-harm has for you, particularly if you haven’t thought about it before. It might feel like it happens for no clear reason. Alternatively, you may feel there are lots of different – perhaps conflicting – causes. 

To start exploring the role self-harm plays for you, you can: 

  1. Try to remember the first time you self-harmed. What was happening? How did you feel emotionally and in your body? Can you recall why you self-harmed at that point and what difference it made to how you were feeling?
  2. Try to identify patterns of situations or feelings that precede urges to self-harm. Do reminders of certain places or people make you want to self-harm? Do you notice these feelings arise when you experience a certain emotion, or when you’re in a situation that feels overwhelming? 

Considering these questions may help you identify some of the needs your self-harm might be fulfilling. This can help you navigate the distractions and alternatives listed below, which are categorised by different physical and emotional needs.

***Remember: ALL reasons for self-harm are valid. If you’ve considered the above and you’re still not sure what function self-harm has for you, that’s okay.***

What do we mean by distractions and alternatives?

  • Distractions are activities and that divert your attention away from the urge 
  • Alternatives replace the self-harm by creating similar sensations and feelings.

Remembering to use distraction or alternative techniques in the moment, when urges to self-harm feel strong, can be really challenging. It can help to explore and practice the techniques that might work for you at a time when you’re feeling safe, so they’re easier to draw on when you need them. 

Alternatives to self-harm based on need 

Here are some alternatives to self-harm, shaped by people with lived experience: 

  • Bite into a chilli  
  • Hold or suck ice cubes  
  • Snap an elastic band on your wrist or ankle 
  • Suck on a lemon or lime 
  • Wax your legs  
  • Book a tattoo or piercing appointment  
  • Clench your fists as hard as you can and then let go
  • Cuddle a soft toy/pillow   
  • Allow yourself to cry   
  • Sleep or take a short nap 
  • Take a shower or bath 
  • Play with a pet   
  • Drink hot chocolate or your favourite comforting drink  
  • Wear your pyjamas and watch a comfort film  
  • Have a massage or massage your own hands and feet   
  • Apply a face mask or body lotion  
  • Ask a friend for some caring words that you can write down or say to yourself  
  • Put together a first aid kit to care for any wounds  
  • Put plasters or bandages on the places you want to hurt yourself   
  • Do something you used to enjoy as a child
  • On a piece of paper, draw the self-harm you’re imagining, then destroy the paper   
  • Take a photo of yourself when you’re feeling upset, write all over it how you’re feeling  
  • Write poetry or a journal about how you feel 
  • Scribble on paper 
  • Draw a picture of yourself and then draw the self-harm you’re imagining 
  • Create a collage based on your mood   
  • Make a playlist of songs that reflect how you feel 
  • Call or text a friend or helpline to talk about how you’re feeling 
  • Take a shower and use an exfoliator on your skin  
  • Take a cold shower or splash your face with water  
  • Chew gum or eat a mint   
  • Take a walk outside and notice your surroundings and the feeling of your body moving   
  • Practice some grounding exercises   
  • Dance 
  • Sing   
  • Practice meditation or mindfulness 
  • Hold your breath 
  • Try something that involves repetitive action – colouring, stroking a pet, tapping your fingers on a table  
  • Punch a punch bag or pillow  
  • Have a pillow fight with the wall   
  • Shout and scream into a pillow  
  • Rip paper into small pieces   
  • Stab a cardboard box with a pen or pencil  
  • Take your anger out on a soft toy   
  • Throw socks against the wall   
  • Stamp your feet   
  • Listen to music that matches your emotions   
  • Do high intensity exercise or dancing 
  • Make clay models and smash them 
  • Break old plates and cups  
  • Throw ice cubes and watch them smash  
  • Flatten aluminium cans for recycling   
  • Throw paint at a canvas 
  • Paint the area of your body you want to hurt with red paint  
  • Put stickers on the parts of your body you want to injure 
  • Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen or draw over old scars 
  • Warm a bottle of liquid red food colouring by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Move the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the colour trickle out 
  • Draw on the areas you want to harm using red ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food colouring into ice-cube tray wells 
  • Create marks using stage makeup 
  • Cut into a blood orange 
  • Scribble on a large piece of paper with a red crayon 
  • Draw injuries on a picture or drawing of yourself  
  • Peel PVA glue off your skin  
  • Eat small sweets such as tictacs or mints 
  • Write lists 
  • Tidy up/do some cleaning 
  • Organise your wardrobe/bookshelf/cupboard 
  • Do a body scan - clench then relax all your muscles 
  • Plan a self-care day for yourself or someone you care about 
  • Create a mood board around something you’re passionate about 
  • Make a meal plan for the week 
  • Practice some breathing exercises e.g. breathing in for four counts, holding for four and then breathing out for four 

Distractions from Self-Harm 

The aim of distraction is to move your focus to something different for long enough that your thoughts or urges to self-harm subside partially or completely. 

The right type of distraction will depend both on what you’re interested in and what you need in that moment. Many of the alternatives to self-harm listed above may also function as distractions. 

Here are some suggestions of ways you might distract yourself when you feel the urge to self-harm. Some of these do require some forward planning to organise and integrate them into your routine – it’s okay if that doesn’t feel possible right now.

  • Call a friend or a helpline
  • Visit an online forum to read posts or share your own
  • Look at self-help websites or stories/blogs
  • Meet a friend for coffee or go for a walk
  • Talk to a family member or do an activity with them
  • Talk to a GP or another mental health professional
  • Write a journal entry
  • Text someone or a helpline about how you’re feeling
  • Ask for a hug 
  • Do some drawing or colouring
  • Cross-stitch or embroider a design
  • Do a crossword / Sudoku / other puzzle
  • Play online games
  • Do an online quiz
  • Do a jigsaw
  • Clean the bathroom or kitchen
  • Watch a film or TV series
  • Read a book
  • Cook a meal 
  • Go for a walk in nature
  • Dance around to music
  • Do some gardening
  • Do a physical activity or sport e.g. swimming, cycling
  • Go for a drive 

Remember: 

Everyone is different and may find different things useful, and finding what works for you will likely take time. Try not to be disheartened if you’re not finding these techniques helpful – it may be that you need to keep experimenting, or that alternatives and distractions aren’t the most useful strategy for you. Either way, it’s helpful for you to know what does and doesn’t work. 

It can be helpful to write down any techniques that worked for you when you were feeling a certain way as a reminder to come back to them in the future.

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