Self-Harm: Quick Reference Guide for School Staff

A calm, clear checklist for responding to disclosures or concerns.

1. Communication is Key

• Take a breath before responding. 
• Speak slowly and gently. 
• You don’t need to fix everything.

2. Check for Immediate Medical Risk

Get help urgently if there is: 

• Heavy bleeding 
• Suspected overdose 
• The young person is unconscious or unable to stay awake 

Follow emergency procedures and stay with them.

3. How to Respond in the Moment

Do: 

• Thank them for telling you. 
• Listen without interrupting. 
• Show warmth and respect. 
• Acknowledge how tough it can be to talk about self-harm. 
• Use their language, not labels. 
• Explain what you will need to share and with whom. 

Avoid: 

• Judgement (“Why would you do that?”) 
• Minimising (“It’s just a scratch.”) 
• Pressure to stop (“You must promise not to do it again.”) 
• Asking to see injuries unless essential for first aid/safety.

4. Helpful Phrases

• “I’m really glad you told me.” 
• “You’re not in trouble.” 
• “You deserve support.” 
• “I want to make sure you’re safe.” 
• “We can talk about this at your pace.” 

5. After the Conversation

• Follow safeguarding procedures. 
• Log the concern clearly and factually. 
• Inform the designated safeguarding lead. 
• Avoid becoming the sole point of support – share responsibility.

6. Remember

• Self-harm is a coping strategy, not ‘attention-seeking’. 
• Many young people feel shame or fear of consequences. 
• A calm, compassionate response increases safety and trust.

7. Looking After Yourself

• Notice your own feelings after a disclosure. 
• Seek supervision or a debrief. 
• Use grounding techniques if you feel overwhelmed. 
• You can care without carrying it alone.